#except for when he's not but that isn't the point

[pearlymel]

Sylus remembers clearly the day he found out you were both having twins. Twins, as in two babies as yours and his first children.

How you almost passed out when the doctor delivered the news, but he was quick to tell you that everything would be okay.

He's going to be the best husband for you, and for the twins..?

they sure were going to be a handful.

“Sylus!” Sylus' head snapped towards the kitchen, where your voice had come from, “come get your son before i cook him!”

He knew that you were joking. Probably.

the kitchen, one hand holding his little girl's hand guiding her along. "Now, now," he called out as he entered the kitchen, "No cooking the children, sweetie.”

You let out a sigh when you watch the boy run away while letting out giggles, his face and hands full of white flour.

Seeing this, Sylus let out an exasperated sigh as well, his gaze shifting from his running figure to the mess of flour on the floor. "Sorry about the mess he made," he muttered before looking over at you, a sheepish smile on his face. "Go to your brother,” he urges the girl next to him, she nods slowly before running off to him.

“I'll feed him to the ducks one day.” You say with determination, still focused on trying to make this dinner a success after the mess.

But Sylus chuckled at your threat, knowing all too well that you were only half-serious. He could see the twitching in your eyes, but he also knew that you loved both of your children dearly, even if they could be a handful sometimes.

”Though I suspect he would probably find a way to befriend them and make a mess with them.”

“.. why are you right?”

“because i know my children,” he says proudly, then makes slow steps from behind you to not alert you so suddenly, his arms snaking around your waste with his chin resting on your shoulder, “what are you making?”

You smile, “dinner.”

"Smartass," he teased, "I meant what kind of dinner are you making?” he whispers calmly, a soft conversation between you two, with his thumb rubbing ideally on you.

“hm, i could be dinner… but oh well.” you sigh dramatically and he laughs quietly.

You couldn't even continue because you hear a faint “ewwww.” Coming from the corner.

You both glance back at the two heads peeking out from the wall, and you roll your eyes.

"and here I was, having a moment with your mother," he said to them, his voice still low yet amused. "You two really have a knack for interrupting, don't you?”

Your little girl was the first to speak, “it was his idea.” She started quietly, her fingers fidgeting together, but her brother only gasped, “she's lying!”

"Oh, really now?" he’s skeptical, and he approaches both of them with his arms crossed, “Hmm, it's always the innocent ones who lie, isn't it?”

“but I'm not—”

“liar.” The little one huffs and looks away with annoyance, but the minute he could hear his sister im the verge of tears, he knew he messed up.

Sylus was quick to notice her distraught demeanor, his heart clenching slightly at the sight of her on the verge of tears.

"you," Sylus pointed out at the other twin, his voice firmer and authoritative, "did you cause the mess?”

…

Sylus let out a deep sigh, his stern expression softening slightly. He knew he was just being a mischievous little boy, but he also had to nip such behavior in the bud.

"You know better than to blame others for your pranks,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. "Apologize to your sister.”

The girl sniffled, the threat of tears subsiding as she accepted her brother's apology. She wiped away her stray tears with the back of her hand, a small smile forming on her face.

Sylus nodded approvingly, he patted both of them on their head gently. "There we go, now go back and play together.”

This whole time you were watching the scene with the biggest smile on your face, and Sylus was already prepared for your upcoming teasing words.

“and the father of the year goes to.. you.” ... except he didn't expect this rare sweet statement of yours. He's reminded of why he put a ring on it in the beginning.

"What can I say?" he replied, his voice filled with pride. "I have a talent for handling troublemakers." He placed both of his arms on the counter to your sides, boxing you in, "though, to be fair, they get their mischievous streaks from their mother," he added, and you gasp before turning around. burnt dinner it is.

[xinganhao]

NAURRR i NEEEDD a pt.2 of the soccer one with seungcheol and the reader going on dates!!! ughh that hhu one was sooo cutee

not a full part two (yet) but how about some more panels and a couple of headcanons 🤭 aaah thank u for enjoying soccer team!hhu <3 i fear i have a soft spot for her too (✯◡✯) without further ado:

soccer captain!seungcheol who develops a crush on you, his english literature classmate. he knows he could probably just ask you out like a normal person, but the classroom isn't really his turf. the football pitch, though? maybe he'll stand a chance there, he thinks, as he invites you to try out for managership.

soccer captain!seungcheol who may not be obvious to you but is so obvious to the rest of his team. they see the way he preens, the way he strives to show off just a little bit more when you're around. mingyu gives him absolute hell over it.

soccer captain!seungcheol who drives you to and from every team dinner. who picks up the tab when the two of you have 'check-in's (something he swears is tradition, but no other student manager has actually done).

soccer captain!seungcheol who, post-confession, becomes the most insufferable suitor known to man.

soccer captain!seungcheol will throw his arm around you whenever you're talking with the captains of the other teams. never mind the fact that all your conversations with them are strictly professional. seungcheol will flash them a dimpled grin, hit them with a cool "everything good?" as he leans his weight on you.

soccer captain!seungcheol sends an obscene amount of photos/videos. post-workout? mirror snap. stuck in traffic? fifteen second-er of him belting along to a song on the radio. you call him vain. he says he's only trying to make sure he's always on your mind.

soccer captain!seungcheol is whispered about, because he starts waiting for you outside of your classrooms. "this isn't high school," you tell him with no shortage of exasperation as he wrestles your stuff out of your hands. "i know," he'll say. but he still walks you to your next class, refusing to let you lift a finger.

soccer captain!seungcheol who always pushes it. pre-game— whether it's one with high-stakes or just some training match— he'll pull out all the stops. his signature pout. his boba-like eyes. "c'mon," he whines. "just one good luck kiss."

soccer captain!seungcheol catches a lot of flack for his shameless displays of being absolutely-down-bad, by the way. vernon calls him a simp. wonwoo can only facepalm. but seungcheol doesn't care, can't give two damns about his team's relentless teasing. because, one day, all his outrageousness pays off.

soccer captain!seungcheol short-circuits when you finally give in. maybe you're fed up. maybe you're endeared. doesn't matter. all that he registers is that your lips press a chaste, barely-there kiss to his cheek. it's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, except seungcheol doesn't miss it, and neither does the rest of the shell-shocked team.

soccer captain!seungcheol can only stare at you— the perfect picture of innocence, like you haven't just tilted his entire world on its axis— as you tell him, "there's your luck. better win, choi."

soccer captain!seungcheol recognizes a command when he hears it.

soccer captain!seungcheol mumbles out a dazed, "yes, captain," because he may be the king of the pitch, but you're the center of his goddamn world.

(soccer captain!seungcheol wins that game, by the way. mvp and all that. when he's handed his award, he doesn't do his usual display of thrusting the trophy up into the sky. instead, his index finger extends— and he points straight at you.)

[artisticxlly]

Kagehina/Shobio headcanons!

Hinata has very pronounced canine teeth.

Both are a little possessive, but Hinata is worse off when it comes to it (he's more confrontational).

Kageyama has a thing for how Hinata smells and also how their bodies fit together (deep pressure has a big appeal to him (yes, he's autistic why do you ask /rhet)).

They both like getting their hair played with.

The most 'couply' petname they use is babe/baby (usually former gets used by Kageyama and latter gets used by Hinata), otherwise its playful insults or each other's first names.

Hinata likes spicy food, and Kageyama hates it (if it's past a certain spice level, he gets overwhelmed).

Hinata smells like coconut and citrus, and Kageyama smells like mint/flowery scents. Though subtle ones, he doesn't like heavily perfumed stuff.

Hinata tans and Kageyama sunburns.

Hinata has a shit ton of freckles, and Kageyama has a very small amount of moles that are very prominent. They are both kissed equally as much by the other partner.

(This one's a possible art idea of mine) In third year, Hinata steals some of Natsu's quite flashy/girly hairclips because Kageyama got irritated as he couldn't see Hinata's eyes (he had to surpress the urge to push Hinata's bangs back for him but don't worry he wasn't pining or anything nooo /s). Kageyama proceeded to have a gay crisis (Also, He/They Hinata is real to me idc idc idc /hj).

Kageyama isn't super great at eye contact except when it comes to Hinata. With him, he usually looks him in the eyes when speaking.

Hinata visited Kazuyo's grave to ask for his blessings before he confessed to Kageyama. Like he got flowers to put by the grave and even dressed up nicely for it. Kageyama was never told this, but he did notice the new addition of flowers when he visited Kazuyo's grave a few days later.

They like holding hands a LOT. It's one of their favourite pda's.

Big spoon? Little spoon? Nah, literally think of the most uncomfortable-looking position to entangle yourself in, and thats EXACTLY how they sleep.

Their closets aren't separated, which means they often just wear each other's clothes.

Kageyama gets cuteness irritation, he frowns a lot and knits his eyebrows together when Hinata is being adorable (Hinata doesn't pick up on that fact for a while and often criticises Kageyama for glaring at him even though he didn't do anything wrong).

Hinata likes marking Kageyama, sorry- Also, they get very demanding when needy,,

They have a nightlight by their bed and lamps scattered all over their living space. They practically never turn the big lights on.

Hinata starts carrying Kageyama's fidget toys with him, not only because he himself finds them fun to play with but also in the case of Kageyama getting overstimulated in a social setting.

The first time Kageyama was overwhelmed and rushed out of a scene, he had Hinata following him. Kageyama, at that point nonverbal, ended up explaining in writing what was going on with him on a tiny notebook he kept in his pocket. They wrote back and forth on it even and somewhere in Kageyama's old stash of things, he still keeps that notebook with the written pages still attached.

They both have sound-making stims that they do back and forth sometimes (Hinata pops his lips/makes a 'brr'/'mrp' sound and Kageyama clicks his tongue/snaps his fingers or cracks his knuckles). In some instances, they end up mirroring each other (with Kageyama doing an endearingly shabby job at rollings his 'r's).

They like making fun of romance movies when watching them, especially if the plot points are irritating or the characters are stupid (as if those two weren't pining for each other for literal YEARS before getting together.

They're both terrible at holding their alcohol. Both of them are lightweights for SURE.

If they got married: Hinata figured out when Kageyama would propose because he started fidgetting with the box in his jacket pocket and Hinata kept hearing something snap shut and open over and over.

I'd like to think that once they retire from the professional volleyball careers, they'd get a cat.

I also think they'd help out at volleyball workshops for younger teens when they're older (they like teaching the kids about their passion).

EDIT: Kageyama is a very stiff dancer while Hinata is veryyy smooth with hips (It flusters the hell out of Kageyama I just know it).

Let me know your thoughts if you have any!! :D

[gotta-winwin]

going seventeen 2020 <> svtsideout

word count: 1.8k italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin a/n: omg?? what is this?? a second update for yours truly?? got this as a request and inspiration came flying - enjoy a nice cooldown for all the angst last update!

"Hold on, hold on." Cyana had to calm them down as they started filming. "I still don't really understand what the point of today's content is."

Vernon laughed, pulling her aside to repeat the rules to her but this time in English. "We're basically doing activities while the staff tell us what emotion we have to do everything in. Like the movie Inside Out."

"Ahhhh~" Cyana nodded in understanding. "Okay. Sounds-" She frowned. "Sounds kinda silly."

"That's basically what Going Seventeen is." Vernon patted her on the back before leading her to join the group again. "Get used to it!" He shot her a thumbs-up, smiling wide when she returned a unimpressed stare.

"Wow." Dino marvelled, bringing attention to Cyana and Vernon's exchange all of a sudden. "When did Cyana get so much attitude?"

"She's always been sassy." Mingyu corrected, poking at Cyana. "Seventeen's princess~" He teased.

Cyana swatted his finger away, pointing at the staff. "Shouldn't we be filming today's content, guys?"

[staff sends seventeen's princess thanks]

"Ahh~ look at her being so professional." Hoshi teased. "She's right though."

"We've been working nonstop recently..." Dino exclaimed, bringing the spotlight onto himself. Cyana watched from next to Vernon as Dino began to introduce the premise. "...except Seungkwan."

"Seungkwan isn't here today." Hoshi repeated.

"I heard..." Jeonghan started. "...we're inside Seungkwan right now."

As the others exclaimed excitedly, Cyana grew confused, repeating Jeonghan's words under her breath, thinking she must've heard him wrong. "Inside...Seungkwan?" She asked Vernon.

Vernon nodded. "Yeah," he gestured around the room. "We're inside him right now."

She made a face. "That sounds kinda wrong."

"We're his emotions." He corrected, laughing at her disgusted reaction.

"Oh~" She nodded, finally getting it.

[HAPPY MODE ON]

Everyone started laughing almost at once, leaving Cyana confused, but joining in nevertheless. Pausing in between bouts of forced laughter, she smacked Vernon's shoulder. "What on earth is going on?"

Vernon could only shake his head, looking just as pained as he pretended to laugh. Jeonghan suddenly began to shake Cyana, encouraging her to laugh harder.

"HA. HA. HAHAHAHA." Cyana yelled out, right into Jeonghan's face.

Jeonghan fell back in harsh laughter, real this time.

"Wowww." She couldn't help to gawk at how high the rock climbing course was. She grabbed a helmet, putting it on as she continued to stare at the sheer size of the place. "This is amazing."

"Their shoulders are too wide to fit through." Mingyu's voice cut through her amazement.

She turned, giggling when she saw Wonwoo and the others, unable to cross through the pillars.

"Hoshi wants to go first." Dino pushed Hoshi towards the center. "C'mon."

[RAGE MODE ON]

The place suddenly exploded in shouts of anger, surprising Cyana who was had been talking to Jun seconds ago. She jumped in fright, letting out a harsh breath when she realized the mood had changed. She watched as the others 'fought' and couldn't help but gape at how insane they all were.

"Wow. So this is you guys during Going Seventeen." She couldn't help be a little intimidated. "I see..."

Jun snorted, breaking character upon seeing Cyana's revelation.

Mingyu pushed Jeonghan, flinging the guy several steps towards where Cyana and Jun stood, near the back. Cyana's mouth dropped at the sheer strength of Mingyu. She couldn't wrap her head around how quickly they could adapt to anger as such docile and kind people.

Jun nudged her. "You try."

She frowned. Walking up to DK, she tried imitating the gangsters for those Korean dramas she had been watching. "Who are you?" She asked aggressively, widening her stance and knocking up against DK.

The boy only burst into laughter at the sight.

"Cyana's only cute when she gets mad." Joshua said, still maintaining an aggressive tone although he was fighting not to smile.

[SAD MODE ON]

This time Cyana was ready. She had seen the cue from the staff first, immediately burying her face into Joshua's shirt pretending to cry. A little taken aback, Joshua patted her back and pretended to cry as well. She was glad her face was away from the camera or she would've died with embarrassment.

Joshua leaving her once it was his turn, she sat next to Wonwoo and gave him a tiny smile. She felt comforted he too wasn't really down to be acting so hard.

"He's so skillful." She heard Dino wail out, her shoulders now shaking with laughter instead of pretend tears.

Joshua came down, only greeted by a jealous and tearful Dino, who complimented him with wailing tones. "You're so skillful. Are there a lot of mountains in LA?"

Cyana couldn't help but snort, hand flying out to grab Wonwoo's. It isn't missed by the camera, the awkward parting they had and the little side-eye they both gave each other when the other wasn't looking.

"Jump, Wonwoo!" Jeonghan yelled from his spot on the ground.

Cyana craned her neck up, watching as the boy prepared himself and jumped across. "Wowww." She said quietly. "He looks like a koala, the way he's hanging onto the sack."

Wonwoo's cheeks turned pink at her comment as he was lowered down.

DK was next, his legs visibly shaking as he climbed up.

"DK butt sexy!" Mingyu yelled out after him, prompting DK to move his hips, resulting in both cheers and groans from the others.

"Ya- Mingyu." Woozi chided. "There's a girl here."

Mingyu glanced at Cyana with red ears. Jun shielded her eyes as DK continued his climb up. Once he had reached the top, Jun let his hand down and Cyana could see how scared DK was.

"DK jump!" The others called. "You won't actually fall!"

"DK." Cyana cupped her hands around her mouth to yell. "Jump or the cookies I made back home aren't yours!"

DK looked down at her, cringing at the height. "No!" He yelled back. "That's not fair!"

"Jump!" She yelled, cheering the loudest when he did.

--

"I think I'm going to pass out." Mingyu mumbled, as he looked down at the sheer height he was at. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Mingyu!" Dino yelled up. "If you don't jump you have to call me hyung!"

"Hyung!" Mingyu yelled down. Cyana let out a loud laugh at his blatant cry of defeat. "Hyung!"

"Me too!" She yelled up at him. "Call me Noona!"

Mingyu fixed her with a stare. "Ah~ No thank you."

She pouted. "Then jump."

Mingyu looked at the sack, as if gauging an opponent.

"You can do it!" Hoshi yelled. "Mingyu!"

Cyana was both surprised he did jump and a little sad she didn't get to hear him call her noona. She sighed. "It would've been so funny."

[TIMID MODE ON]

Cyana rolled a basketball across the floor towards Dino. "So we don't get hurt." She gave him a sweet smile, making him smile back.

"Guys, get over here." Seungcheol waved them over to where the group stood.

"Let's divide our teams by odd and even?" Wonwoo suggested, his tone meek and timid to match the current mood. Everyone nodded, splitting off into separate sides of the basketball court. Sensing Cyana's confusion, Wonwoo clarified for the girl. "Based on your place in the group age ranking. You're number 14 so you're with the evens."

She nodded gratefully, moving to join Jeonghan and her other teammates.

[game start!]

Seungcheol threw the jump ball rather timidly, as Hoshi slapped it over Vernon's head and close to Cyana. She swiftly grabbed the ball, taking aim and shooting the ball into the net with a clean swish.

"Wow, you're good?" Vernon exclaimed, although it sounded more like a question.

"Played a bit when I was younger." She shrugged, passing the ball to Jun and jogging alongside him.

The game continued, Cyana surprising everyone as she scored goal after goal. The other team was still catching up though, and Cyana could feel herself getting sucked into the competitiveness of the game.

[EXCITED MODE ON]

"Finally!" She yelled out. "Timid is no way to play a game."

She watched, amused at the ruckus the boys were causing at the other end of the court, as DK threw the ball into Hoshi's knees. Taking over, Cyana dribbled towards the hoop, letting out a frustrated groan when Mingyu came up to block her.

"This isn't fair!" She yelled out, trying to pass him. "You're a wall!" She does her best to body check him, slamming her shoulder into his chest. He doesn't move an inch. "Mingyu!" She whined, passing the ball to an awaiting Minghao.

"That hurt." Mingyu whined back, rubbing his chest. "You're all bone. Owwww~"

[SAD MODE ON]

As the game progressed, Cyana got in a couple more goals, managing to stay far away from Mingyu. He was the only one able to guard her, as she sped past the others or merely moved gracefully through them.

"I want to win." Dino cried out, his face morphing into a sad one.

Catching on, Cyana matched his tone and expression. "I'm so sad I'm doing sooo well."

Dino frowned. "It's not fair. You're using your experience against us."

[experience > svt]

Before Cyana can retaliate, a loud thud and sounds of laughter echoed from the other end of the court. Cyana moved away from the bodies blocking her view, realizing Seungcheol had slipped and lost his shoe in the process.

"I didn't swear!" Seungcheol tried excusing himself as he got up. "I said shoes- not sh-"

"You were really good at basketball." Joshua marvelled, as they had finished the game and were now sitting down for snacks. "I was really shocked."

She blushed under the praise. "I played a lot in LA. The weather was always good so I was always at the park."

"You should play with Seungkwan sometime." He offered, reminding her Seungkwan also liked basketball. "He can introduce you to NCT's Chenle. They play together sometimes."

She nodded. "That sounds-"

The sound of Minghao yelling cut her train of thought, leaving her speechless. "Who asked for Cola?" He yelled out, the sheer volume and strength of his voice stunning the girl.

"Wow." She gaped again, turning to Joshua. "I didn't even know Hao had a set of lungs that could do that."

Joshua bit back a smile, trying to stay in character and on theme. "We're all loud when we want to be." He informed her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, not quite believing him. "Even Wonwoo and Woozi?"

"Even Wonwoo and Woozi." He agreed.

"Even you?" She pressed again. "I've never seen you mad or loud at all."

Hoshi turned around to face them, having overheard their conversation. "Joshua's pure insanity. He just hides it well."

Cyana muffled a giggle behind her sleeve. She watched as the others continued to yell, the amount of attitude in one room overwhelming her. She glanced at the camera, mouthing "I want to go home."

[overstimulated by loudness]

a/n: first gose episode! requests are open if you want to see cyana in other gose episodes - so far gose series will be request only so be sure to send one!

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Luke/Andreas; wined and dined

For the prompt: Andreas and Luke meeting/hooking up the second time

I literally finished this before I realised you guys probably meant like, the second time they hooked up, not the whole second time 'round. Mea culpa, everybody. And for those who interpreted it the same way I did...you're welcome?

Andreas can’t remember the last time he was wined and dined.

Though maybe that isn’t the best way to describe it — Andreas has dinner meetings all the time, has sat beside clients at the best restaurants in almost every NHL city, sampled from the menus of half of New York's most exclusive restaurants. Always on the agency’s dime, of course, or his multi-millionaire client’s, or the teams they play for, or the teams who want to sign them.

There’s plenty of wine involved — though Andreas always restricts himself to a glass when it's business — plenty of dining. But a meeting’s a meeting, whether it’s in a conference room, patiently waiting for a GM who’s been around since there were still six teams in the league to figure out how to unmute his mic, or eating something exceptional at a Michelin Star restaurant.

So obviously that’s not what he means. It’s not that he hasn’t been dating either, though admittedly, he had less and less time to spare for it as he got older. And not that he hasn’t gone on dinner dates specifically, where he allows himself a second glass of wine, orders what he’d like, rather than ‘what he’s having sounds good’, unless, Andreas supposes, it truly does sound good. So there has been wining and dining, in fact. Possibly even a surplus of it.

And yet.

At a certain point Andreas thinks he just stopped expecting romance. It wasn’t any sort of resigned, jaded disappointment at the dating scene. Not that it isn't a shitshow, but it's probably better here than just about anywhere else. More an acknowledgment that most guys didn’t seem to be looking for romance, at least the ones Andreas was dating.

And that was fine, because Andreas wasn’t really looking for it either. Romance was undeniably nice, but he worked long hours, put almost all of himself into his job, and what he had left didn’t require much more than good conversation and some companionship, a spark of attraction, mediocre or better sex. Romance might have come along down the line, but things didn’t tend to last long even when he did find someone who met his simple — yet almost impossible to find — criteria.

That one, he thinks has more to do with him than it does with them. Andreas’ career is one of those things that’s attractive in theory, but significantly less endearing when he’s slipping in and out of bed at all hours, constantly checking his email or ducking out to make a call, flying off to who knows where, sometimes with plenty of notice, sometimes with none at all.

Maybe his life just isn’t conducive to romance. He doesn’t like to think that, but there would be worse things, wouldn’t there? He has a job that he finds fascinating, a job that offers something different every day, a job that, incidentally, pays him more money than he has the time to spend. He could retire tomorrow if he wanted to, live the rest of his life in comfort, dedicate all his time to searching for true love, but why would he want to? It sounds excruciatingly boring.

So he works — he works a lot, works more than he should, at least according to everyone he knows, including Dave, the giant hypocrite — and he — well, he works. But it’s fine. Most people have to search for meaning in his life, but he has his. If anyone asks about it — and they all ask, except Dave, that gem of a fucking man — he says he doesn’t feel like he’s lacking anything. He’s not lying, either.

That doesn’t mean something doesn’t squeeze tight when Luke conveniently ‘happens to be in town’ — though if there’s any town that actually applies to, it’s New York — when he figures they should ‘catch up’. Even as he tells himself that he’s just catching up with an old flame, one who doesn’t even live in the same country as him anymore. Even as he tells himself once for old time’s sake, and then twice doesn’t hurt considering they’ve still got chemistry, then when it’s been three, four, half a dozen, and if Luke’s got a return ticket Andreas doesn’t know when it’s for, but it doesn’t feel like it’s any time soon.

Luke has always been a romantic. He’d deny it up and down if Andreas said it, and it wouldn’t even be a kneejerk macho shit — Andreas doesn’t think Luke even knows he does anything out of the ordinary. Andreas doubts he was thinking ‘I’m going to woo Andreas’ as he asked him out to dinner, not the first time, or the second, not when he came with a bag of groceries and a bottle of wine from a vineyard Andreas mentioned in passing, said he’d cook for him, laughing as he fought with Andreas’ temperamental bottle opener, scoffing when Andreas impatiently intervened before he could ruin a good bottle of wine.

Technically, he doesn’t even know if 'wooing' is Luke’s aim at all. He could just need the change of pace, miss the city, the speed of it, the convenience, and while he was here, Andreas was just as convenient as the rest of it — good conversation, good companionship, Luke more attractive than ever, the sex still fantastic. And they didn’t even have to get to know one another. What could be easier?

But Andreas doesn’t think so, at least not judging by the way Luke’s started looking at him.

Andreas doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him like Luke does, the complete focus of it. Looking isn’t a strong enough word — it’s more like he’s taking him in, trying make sure that he gets every single detail correct, the way Andreas imagines a painter would gaze at their subject, a poet at their lover. Luke’s no poet, but, well — maybe he is, a little, minus the words. There’s something about the way Luke looks at the world. Something about the way Luke looks at him.

It used to unnerve Andreas, a little, especially because Luke wasn’t only looking at him like that over romantic candlelit dinners and endorphin fueled pillow talk, but also during the most mundane moments. Andreas would be scowling at his phone, pecking out an answer to a client who decided he urgently needed to discuss his contract on a Sunday morning, a full season before it expired, and he’d look up and there Luke was, visibly taking him in. Sometimes there’d be a little smile on his face — the moments Andreas let himself be a little cranky there often was — but often there wasn’t, just Luke’s eyes on him, taking him in like he was never going to see him again.

It was — a lot. Luke was a lot, almost from the very beginning. Andreas thought he was going to get a regrettable hook up out of things, and then he thought it was going to be a few of them, and it was like a switch was flipped, and Luke went from the hot, fun, surprisingly good in bed client Andreas had completely unprofessionally fucked — and not just once, but a few times, and then a handful — to even more surprisingly good company outside of bed, to something Andreas didn’t quite have a name for. Someone who was gone even more than Andreas was, someone Andreas started to miss when he was gone. Andreas was the one staying put, most of the time, but Luke was the one always watching him like he’d disappear the moment he closed his eyes.

The look hasn’t changed, and Andreas imagines it means the same thing now as it did then, Luke who doesn’t blink, Luke who jumps both feet first, Luke the romantic.

It doesn’t feel as overwhelming now, though Andreas suspects he’ll be spending some time thinking about just how quickly Luke was on board. How quick they both were — Andreas can’t pretend he doesn’t know what’s coming, what’s already here, can’t pretend that isn’t something he wants, when he could end things with a word.

But he doesn’t. This time Andreas lets himself look back, and when Luke catches him at it, he doesn’t let himself look away.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Protective Gale Dadkarios Thoughts

A/N: I am once again thinking about Gale being a father and it's giving me emotions. This man makes me soft guys!

Okay, first things first, this is more in keeping with my Single Mom!Tav, Gwen, headcanons (found here)

Basically Gwen had a tiefling child, Clara by a previous marriage. She and her husband divorced and after Gale and Gwen got married they had a daughter named Morgan

As I've kind of dove into here; Clara and Morgan have a hard time conceptualizing their father as an adventurer

Yes, obviously, he was, but to them he's just their dad; the one who makes bad jokes and cooks and reads them stories, it's not necessarily real to them

So imagine for a moment, Clara walking through the market with a little Morgan in tow

Clara old enough at this point to go by herself, but Morgan is obessed with her big sister and Gwen insist Clara bring Morgan with her

Clara begrudgingly agrees, taking the coin Gwen gave them to buy some things for dinner while Morgan tugs on her sleeve asking if they can get a treat

Clara is too distracted to notice at first the sound of horses hooves galloping toward them. The store keeper in front of them suddenly drops with an arrow to the chest. The rest is chaos.

Clara doesn’t know what to do except grab Morgan and start running back towards home. Morgan is scared though and too little to run properly.

Clara then ducks them between a few barrels just hoping nobody notices them. She only is just able to catch her breath when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

She starts to yell ready to start biting just like her uncle Astarion told her when she sees her dad kneeling down next to them.

Morgan throws her arms around him and Clara isn’t that far behind

Gale hugs them both asking if Gwen is with them. Clara tells him she’s back home. She then sees something in her dad’s eye she hasn’t seen before.

His jaw is set and there is something calculating in the way he looks out at the choas on the other side of the alley way. He then kisses them both of the forehead and tells them very calmly to stay hidden, he’ll be right back.

Morgan starts to reach out to her dad, but Clara holds her back. Something in how he said it makes her actually feel the necessity to do as he says.

Still, she can’t help it take a peak as she sees her dad step out of the alley with nothing but his staff.

The next thing she sees is a display of magic she’s only heard in stories.

The fire that rains down isn't done out of fury, but cool precise calculation

Time might as well have stopped

Gale isn't being extravogent or showing off, this is a wizard at full power cleaning up the mess in the most efficient way possible

When the dust clears, Gale stands in the middle of it all without a scratch on him

He then turns back to see Clara and Morgan peaking out of the alley way

He wants to chastize them for not hiding properly like he said, but he can't bring himself to do it, espeically when Morgan comes charging into his arms

Clara isn't far behind and he gathers them both to him

Everything is alright now, time to go home

Morgan is really too little to understand what she just saw, only that it was scary and the safest place she can think to be is in her father's arms

Clara honestly can't help but stare at him; she didn't think he was that...well, cool

Of course, this illusion is shattered the second he makes a bad joke in some attempt to get them to smile

At the end of the day, he's still their dad; soft, safe and warm

[fuckyourchampionship]

That stupid fuckandreastella blog bro. has a page dedicated to blindly hating on all the drivers except Lando, and then gets butthurt when people call them out on it. I'm glad that anon called them out. They hate on Oscar based on assumptions about him that they made up in their head to make them feel better about themselves and their washed driver. Meanwhile Lando has, by his own words and actions proven how rude of a person he is. His fans love to disguise them as jokes when they're legitimate insults and he knows those fans will defend him and he continues to do it. Half the time i don't even mind the snarky comments he makes because it's something all drivers have done, even Oscar and Max, it's part of the sport, infact media has dimmed it down otherwise it was so much worse back then, but he doesn't know when to stop, atleast max has 4 wdc to back up his temper. He's doing to much with little to show for it. His fans say it's double standards of people to shit on Lando for his 'champion mindset' when Max gets praised for the same thing. Mate what mindset? The only thing about the mindset is that he 'dreams' to be a champion, yet has never puts it into action. Max got hate for it, but did he let that peer pressure him? He took that hate and converted it into success. That's champion mindset. No unnecessary comments to undermine fellow drivers because he knows his ability. Infact he's praised Lando so many times. But Lando gets close to Max's car and suddenly max is dangerous, he's his enemy, they're not friends anymore, he loses respect for him. Hell he wanted an apology lmfaoo. And then PR was on his ass that he denied contradicted everything the next race, while max from the start was very mature about it and never spoke I'll of Lando. He can never learn to shut up when he should, and his fans are surprised he gets hated on.

Lando loves to victim play a lot, the whole Hungary drama? So that people would feel bad for him? He could've given Oscar the place back and then fight for it afterwards, but he had to cause unnecessary drama for the world to see, which by now I shouldn't be surprised about. Then he cries and whines about every driver trying to race him, tell me one time Oscar's ever begged for Lando to give the place back, even if team orders were implemented in his favor (which was only Hungary to my knowledge) It was always the team making decisions or talking to Lando, Oscar focuses on the race, based on his own merit. He knows that team has always favoured Lando and he's keeping silent, gaining experience, ultimately to outclass Lando in future seasons and I love that for him. And then the whole, Oscar never praises Lando like Lando does about him openly, is such a childish argument, because first it's literally false, Oscar has on multiple occasions subtly praised Lando when Lando did better then him post race interviews, and second, he's not contractually obligated praise him? People got mad at Oscar not 'thanking' Lando after Hungary. Why the fuck would he do that? In what world would a driver thank another driver for their win. Personally, I see all these praises from Lando about Oscar fake, just to get media's sympathy. He'll really try everything offtrack to gain an advantage but can't do it where it actually fucking matters.

Calling Oscar selfish for racing against Lando is hilarious because you're just undermining your own drivers ability. Isn't the whole point of F1 being selfish and fighting for the win? It's what max and every championship has done, and it paid off, if Lando fans call Oscar selfish then I'll take that as a compliment because they're basically saying Oscar's a soon to be world champion, so keep it coming babes. Oscar's only here for the constructors, he has no obligation to help Lando win a championship yet he CONTINUES to do so. If Lando really was championship material, he would be able to race against his teammate without crying about it, and be able to race wheel to wheel against him on track. But what do I expect, he cries about max when Max is trying to defend a championship, what does he fucking expect? Him to just let him by easily? If he did half the things max does (unfair take because Lando doesn't have half the talent max does or the courage lol) he would be closer to max in the championship, not leading but atleast closer. Oscar has done no wrong when racing Lando, he's always kept it clean, no damages to Lando's car so what's the issue? He tries his best to bring maximum points for the WCC and that should be his only obligation. If Lando was half as level headed as Oscar and actually focused on his races instead of bitching and moaning, McLaren would be miles ahead of Ferrari.

And back to hating on Oscar based on assumptions, they apparently don't like him because he's associated with mark who's homophobic and transphobic and then made ONE video with Jeremy Clarkson who again is controversial for reasons Idgaf about so by default that makes him one too. And that's equivalent to saying Lando's the same because he outright expressed support for trump. Not to mention he was associated with that rapist Yung filly or whatever. Does that make him one too?

The double standards and hypocrisy of those Norris fans will never fail to amaze me. Just what is their thought process.

Anon We think the same, I totally agree with you.

I think I love you

[dumbassunderthemountain]

Secret Guard (Thorin x Reader)

Summary: Thorin discovers your secret love of singing 

A/N: Hello! Idk how long I'm back, and I’m out of practice so it's just gonna a be a super short and a little cute one shot, also there isn't really a thorin taglist anymore just a few long time mutuals and thorin lovers <3

Genre: Comedic Fluff

Word Count:1100+ 

Over the few months you’d been with the company the topic of getting you to sing had come up multiple times. The dwarves all loved singing and every safe moment of the journey they would erupt into a baritone choir to pass the time, even the grumpier dwarves (i.e. Dwalin and Thorin) would partake. Listening to them sing tales from their culture was marvelous and brought a smile to your face every time without fail.  

Unfortunately, the dwarves were not ones to hug the lime light, except Bofur on occasion, and would repeatedly ask you and Bilbo to share some of your hobbit songs with them. After a good deal of persuasion Bilbo gave in, but no amount of pestering from Fili and Kili, elbow nudges from Bilbo, or intimidating stares from the dwarven king could make you sing in front of people.  

It wasn’t that you hated singing or had a particularly bad voice, it was just incredibly nerve wrecking and you’d rather not do it in front of others. The only time you sang was in the bath. Back in the Shire this was a daily occurrence... now...well, twice a week was a rare squeaky-clean week. The lack of baths was unfortunate, not only because of the lack of cleanliness but also it was the only time you got to be alone, as no one in the company would dare come near you then. Therefore, it was the only time you were free to sing... or so you thought... 

It began relatively early into your journey, before you even came upon the trolls. You had slipped away for a bath, the majority of the company waving as you left. All except Thorin who had been in one of his moods and went out hunting to blow off steam. When he returned and did his standard head count to only find 13 dwarves, 1 wizard, and only 1 hobbit. After looking for you amongst the group a a second time, he barked, “Where is (y/n)?!)  

“Bathing.” Gloin replied matter-of-factly.  

“And no one went to guard them? We hear orcs in the distance every night!” 

The company looked around guilty as Thorin threw down the deer he carried and stormed off to find you. It did not take long, he just had to follow the sound of your singing. If he hadn’t known better Thorin would have sworn it was a siren’s lure, yet he recognized it as you. Ever the proper and respectful dwarf, Thorin forced himself to stop long before he could see you, as not to further intrude on your privacy. If something was wrong the singing would surely stop. Thorin was far more captivated than he’d expected. Despite your voice being nice but not extraordinary from and objective point of view, the way you weaved together stories with melodies was unlike any dwarven song, and so Thorin took it upon yourself to be your guard every single time you bathed.  

The only thing was, Thorin never told you this. Every time he’d listen for you to get out of the water then run back to camp, pretending he’d been there the entire time earning him many eyerolls from Dwalin and Balin. This went on for months. Without even knowing it you were softening the King under the mountain’s heart through singing. What you thought were intense stares and glares, he believed were quick longing glances.  

Attempting to get out from under Thorin’s gaze you left to take your bath and as usual Thorin followed. The problem was that this bathing location was at the bottom of a rather steep hill after a heavy rain. So, while you carefully slid down and bathed normally, Thorin’s bulky rectangular steel tipped boots lost their footing in the loose wet dirt, sending him down the hill and into the river beside you, before either of you knew what happened.  

Suddenly there was a large splash and a fully clothed Thorin was beside you. Screaming, you plunged your body underwater and wrapping your arms around your body. “What are you doing here?!” You demanded.  

Thorin was dazed and confused by his sudden drenched state. “I was-I was keeping guard.” He sat up and turned to look at you before remembering your undressed state and turned around quickly. “I apologize, I swear to you I could see and have seen nothing.”  

“Why didn’t you tell me!” 

“I... I did not want you to stop singing.” Thorin said, ashamed of his secrecy. “I quite enjoy the way you sing.” 

“Oh, well, thank you. But you still-” 

“I know, and I deeply apologize for that.”  

The two of you sat in silence for a while a minute, before Thorin stood up keeping his back to you. “I will head back to camp now, again, I am deeply sorry.”  

He took a step towards the riverbed when you objected, “Wait,” He froze, “You might as well keep watch, then bath yourself considering you’re soaked...and I suppose it is safer that way. I-I'll even keep watch for you.” 

“I could not bear to take your time singing, it is clear you greatly enjoy it.” 

“I suppose I could...try. Since I’ve unknowingly been singing to an audience for a long time now.” 

A tiny smile grew on Thorin’s face. “I’d never wish to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Then you should work on those glares.” 

“Glares?” He asked, forgetting and looking towards you for a moment before quickly turning away and turning as red as the setting sun on a smokey night.  

“Yes? You glare at me all the time.” 

“I... those were not glares, nor did I think I looked long enough for you to notice...” 

Upon seeing the redness of his face, it dawned on you exactly what was going on, causing you to giggle. “You could have just talked to me, but it is nice to know my singing was so enchanting.” You said sarcastically as you flipped your hair.  

Thorin let out a short breathy laugh, “That’s what Balin said, the first part at least.” 

“Maybe you should listen to him. Balin is your adviser, is he not?” 

He chuckled again, the sound was like music to your ears, and the simple fact that you were the one causing it was almost unbelievable. “Yes, you’re right...Perhaps I will finally take his advice once we return to camp” He threw you a wink then clumsily climbed back up the hill leaving you to finish your bath.  

Once you both finished your respective baths, Thorin walked you back to camp awkwardly attempting to make conversation and blushing when your hands accidentally bumped together. Who knew the brave King Under the Mountain could become so flustered by a simple hobbit?  

Taglist: @fizzyxcustard @lathalea @shiinata-library

[beevean]

I understand the miscommunication now. However, there is a difference between saying "I never played the 2000s games that gave closure to ShTH, and I like how SXSG handled things" and

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

If you missed out on the games, fair enough, it happens. Personally, I played Heroes and ShTH some years before Adventure 2, and it shaped my perception of Shadow. But if you put it in an objective way, as in, "Shadow never got proper closure before", then I would say "no, he did, multiple times, here's proof - you may not like the writing, but it still happened".

I didn't even talk about '06 itself because I am not going to think about its place in the canon timeline lol. But in a meta sense, it counts for my point: we players experienced Shadow's story and how it precisely exists to show us "look, he has moved on, he can no longer be swayed or manipulated, he knows who he is and what he's fighting for". Sure, the events with Mephiles didn't happen or he forgot, but that game still counted as closure to us after playing ShTH.

I really like that Shadow Gens doesn't emphasize his promise to Maria - he's not doing this out of obligation, but because he chooses to.

It's true that Shadow doesn't talk about his old promise, it's good and shows that he has grown. To be fair, though, another reason for this could be that the story is much more focused on Shadow's biology and ties to Black Doom than his relationship with the world (plus, it wouldn't make sense for him to tell Maria he had promised her to make people happy when she hasn't died yet lol). And, this is an issue I have with the part where Shadow briefly contemplates to stop Rouge and use Chaos Control to freeze Maria and Gerald in White Space: the fact that he has to be told to let them go is still, conceptually, Shadow needing Maria as moral guidance.

As for the mandate bit, I'm aware Boom isn't canon and Forces shows Shadow cares about his team (shout out to their banter in Team Sonic Racing for backing it up as well); I was more referring to the general 2010's vibe. Once you get past 2010, Shadow appears in Generations, where he just wants to "finish" Sonic… And then nothing until Forces, with everything extracurricular from Boom and IDW (while not being strictly canon) pointing to Sega and the writers… not treating his character well.

I disagree. I don't think it makes sense to talk about "general vibe", when the list of Shadow's appearances in the 2010s is so small they can be dissected one by one. Once you remove Boom, which again doesn't count at all as Boom Shadow is a different character from main Shadow (or you might as well argue that the 2010s as a whole turned Knuckles into an illiterate Kronk-like idiot or Eggman into a softie who is frenemies with Sonic), his portrayals in the games are generally decent, with perhaps the one exception of Free Riders where everyone was a dick for no reason lol. Speaking of Gens, sure Shadow challenges Sonic out of nowhere, but then he cheers for him to defeat the Eggmen and then even sticks around for his birthday, so he's not just "the Vegeta" as he has been described since then.

We can argue that Shadow was used very sparingly in the 2010s, which is true. The 2010s were a response to the backlash of the 2000s, and one of the complaints was precisely that Shadow stole the spotlight, along with all the "shitty friends", so they all took several seats back. The reason I insisted that Boom and IDW don't count is that they aren't canon, they shouldn't be used as proof to talk about the character, and they aren't proof of how SEGA sees the character - although they certainly didn't have an iron grip on the external writers except for some basic guidelines, and maybe they should have. I think we are still feeling the consequences of the series stumbling 10 years ago (that 2013-2017 gap was painful), and the fandom growing sour because of it.

I don't think SXSG is a bad game. I have a couple of complaints with Shadow's writing, but they mostly stem with how the story uses him, other than that I can see they tried to make him sound like he did in '06 and he works. My issue is wider: I would like these characters to move on and stop clinging onto games that are by now older than the average fan. We had Frontiers which mostly retreaded character arcs that we have seen in Sonic Adventure, way back in 1998; and now we got SXSG, which was a long, long way to tell us "hey remember ShTH? Now Shadow is tired of BD's shit. Here's a reminder of that game's twist regarding Shadow's biology, but he doesn't care. Also he still misses Maria." So I'm here like... the older games are there. Shadow's multi-game arc is there. Couldn't you have just re-released them? Couldn't you have announced a sale for SA2 on Steam? Or ported Heroes and ShTH, which would have been appreciated by a good chunk of the fandom? SXSG may be fun to play and a testament of ST learning lessons on level design and gameplay style, but the game itself was not the point of the experience, right? It's for newcomers attracted by the incoming movie to get an idea of who Shadow is. I understand and respect that I am not the target audience here. But that doesn't mean the older games are suddenly invalid or should be forgotten.

i guess tl;dr please port shth and battle and then let's write new scenarios for the cast

(Spoilers for Shadow Generations)

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

By the end of Adventure 2, he remembered his promise to Maria and made his choice to save the world, but then he "dies".

When Heroes revives him, he doesn't remember any of that.

His namesake game (and I say this as gently as possible), as cool as the multiple endings were, feels so unsatisfying. We get to see Shadow's potential for good and evil, sure, but then the true canon ending comes, and it doesn't specify what he did (or even what exactly he remembered about his past) to get there, and then he just decides not to let his past control him. Which isn't a terrible direction on paper, but the symbolism of him literally throwing away a picture of his family just seems... Like the opposite of what made this character appealing in the first place?

And from there, the games kept giving mixed signals. Sonic '06 shows how deeply he and Team Dark come to care for each other, but then its events get literally removed from the timeline. Sega begins to pretend that Team Dark aren't even friends in their mandates for a while (despite the fact they clearly care for each others' wellbeing before anybody else's). Shadow becomes practically a popsicle stick puppet for "angry, serious, violent rival", and they never feel a need to explain his motivations or reactions beyond waving at that four word character description again.

Shadow's appeal (at least to me) was never that he was a character who didn't care about anything - it was that he cared very deeply, actually. (Someone who nearly lets the world be destroyed as revenge for losing his family is the exact opposite of someone who doesn't care!) He may not be cheerful, he may be quiet and stern, he may have a temper and be capable of terrible things if he isn't careful, but he isn't heartless.

And Shadow Generations FINALLY got it right, I feel.

There's now no doubt that he remembers his past, and that it did matter to him. It still does, in fact, and we're dropping the idea that he'll move on from it like it never happened. That's not how tragedy works.

But he will be able to move forward.

He has finally, WITHOUT GETTING AMNESIA, IN THE CANON TIMELINE, gotten to become the hero Maria wanted him to be.

That doesn't mean his story's over: I'm sure they can still find adventures to send him on. And that doesn't mean he needs any kind of complete personality overhaul, either. He can still be more aggressive than Team Sonic, and more stern, and maybe even more willing to resort to questionable methods to fight next week's bad guy.

But all of Team Dark has gotten to acknowledge that they do, in fact, care for each other, even if their attitudes aren't as chummy as Team Sonic.

Shadow has gotten to hear from his family that they are proud of him, weird alien DNA and all, and that even though he will have to go the rest of his long life without them, their love will always go with him, and give him the strength he needs to overcome any of his darker parts.

Shadow having a darker edge than Sonic and Shadow being a hero are things that can and SHOULD coexist, and I'm so glad we finally got to see it for him without it getting wiped from canon or his own memories again.

[dreamwreaver]

Ah yes, Charliesexual Alastor, it's canon in my eyes. How else will you explain the bedroom eyes he sends her way? When Rosie insinuates something suggestive with him and Charlie, he doesn't even deny it, hell, his eyes continue to lock onto her. He has already grabbed her chest and backside once and touches her more than he does with anyone. He wants her so bad, he isn't even aware of that fact.

I mean we knew he was down bad when he blew off Mimzy. Come on, he chose the princess of hell over his only remnant of his life? And while Mim could always be jelly over any female al hangs around there's this particular venom in the way she says,

"Have fun with your little princess and your little hotel,"

Like she blames Charlie for making Alastor like this. And while I will admit her insulting the mama's boy's dearly departed mother probably didn't help, it seems he's really pressed at the insult to Charlie's ambitions, even though he himself doesn't believe in them. He's a very interesting bag of contradictions when it comes to her. And I do want to point out that despite what Viv has said about him liking to touch others as a power play.... we never see him actually doing that with anyone else? Idk if that's been retconned officially or not, but Alastor doesn't touch anyone really, except for one person.

Charliesexual Alastor is my Roman Empire Nonnie. I mean it's basically second tier canon since the sound designers have him make fucking deer mating noises around her. Those little plushie toy noises? Yep, that's horny deer sounds.

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Head canon that all the bats are actually pretty decent cooks but only under very specific circumstances.

Bruce: if Alfred is anywhere near, he'll burn water. He can however cook for 15+ people, if he tries for any less he ends up overusing salt/sugar/spices and the food ends up inedible. Whenever Alfred has the day off, he secretly cooks for his kids while pretending he's just reheating Alfred's dishes. Curiously, they all usually find excuses to show up at the manor when Alfred isn't there, even Jason.

Dick: will not cook for himself even if he has to eat raw pasta. However, if one of his siblings is coming over or they ask for a snack he can make mostly healthy food with the most random ingredients that no one else would have put together. It's usually pretty good.

Jason: can't cook with people in his kitchen. He needs space. The exception is Alfred. Tim has taken to hiding in random places in the kitchen to see how long he can stay without Jason kicking him out. His best spot is top of the fridge, almost beaten by the time he hid inside a floating cabinet and it ended up caving to his weight and dropping him on top of the sauce Jason was making (luckily not yet on the stove).

Tim: only cooks when the recipe has precise measurements of each ingredient (mg/ml instead of cups/tbsp). Proceeds to completely ignore his recipe and ends up with a completely different thing, usually opposite of what he was making, still tastes like he had used the recipe for the final thing.

Cass: cooks based on vibes only so most of the time she's the only one who can eat her concoction, mostly using ingredients that require her to dance and contort around the kitchen at the beat of whatever music she's listening to or just whatever. That being said, her food improves drastically if someone's in the kitchen with her, out of her way but watching, cause then she bases her measurements and ingredients in body language and her proportions end up being incredibly accurate.

Steph: can make anything that requires batter and make it be the best thing you've ever tasted. So waffles, crepes, pancakes, some cookies, cake, etc. Anything other than that will end up on fire. Funnily enough, she can also make incredible fillings that have an uncanny resemblance to some of her previous ashen attempts.

Duke: can cook in the dark without making a mess. He's also a pretty decent cook in general but he somehow leaves piles of dirty pans/dishes whenever he's seen cooking, no matter how simple his dish is.

Damian: can only cook with the recipe or someone (Dick specifically but sometimes Alfred) guiding him. His favorite food is the one traditional from the league, specifically the recipes Talia gave him when he went to Gotham. He wants them to be exactly as his mother intended so he won't deviate from the recipe in the slightest. It's special to him. Just as it's special to cook with Richard and getting to learn his favorite foods from before Bruce took him in. He might or might not either write the recipe after each time he cooks with Richard and ask clarifying questions like "what do you mean measure with your heart? How many tablespoons is that? No, I didn't see, you covered my eyes and told me to 'trust the process'"

Bonus: Alfred has the skill of spoiling the food of people he deeply dislikes while making the rest of it completely perfect for everyone else. Even if it's all cooking in the same pot. He's gotten so good at it he doesn't even do it consciously anymore and forgets he's doing it. It still gets the point across though. Interestingly enough, each of the bats partners have gotten shitty food from Alfred at least once (either shovel talk style or because they did something mean to their respective bat or wtv), they can't even say anything cause all the bats will just look at them like they're being crazy because Alfred could never while Alfred smirks at them from the opposite side of the room.

[girlactionfigure]

Nakba, nakhsa, на хуй

The Arabs consider only two wars against Israel as defeats: The Nakba in 1948 and the Nakhsa in 1967. The reason for this is that they measure defeat only in terms of land loss. I'm not talking about the movement of political borders, but about regions that are no longer inhabited by Arabs. Lost homes, lost fields, lost groves. Places where they had once lived but can never visit again. Keys without doors.

This is why, despite a crushing battlefield defeat in 1973, the Arabs don't feel they've lost the war. While Israel came to control a huge swath of Arab territory after destroying the Syrian and Egyptian armies, no Arab communities were displaced. There were no columns of refugees and no people with useless keys hanging from their necks. 

The Middle Eastern equation is very simple. 

No mass displacement = no victory. 

Anyone telling you otherwise is fantasizing. Any loss except land loss is immaterial. The enemy is willing to suffer greatly to restore his lost honor. Where did he give up and admit defeat? In medieval Spain. Why? Because he were truly defeated there. Not because Christians armies defeated Muslim armies, but because the Muslims were displaced from Spain. 

Total displacement = total victory.

As most wars have shown, despite being a very tough people, the enemy is not immovable. Hundreds of thousands fled their homes in '48 and '67 (even though no organized effort was made to displace them) and almost three millions fled their homes in Gaza and Lebanon now. 

In Lebanon, a single tweet from Avichay Adraee is enough to send thousands packing. They don’t even need to see Jews with guns. Just an alert is enough. Millions more have fled Syria, Iraq, and Lebanon during intra-Arab wars. 

Turns out that the “true owners of the land” can leave it after all.

This brings me to my main point: only displacement can bring security to Israel and peace to the region. Israel isn't an empire. The IDF was created to defeat armies in quick wars, not to be a giant police force. 

Israel has neither the mindset nor the resources to rule over millions of hostile people. Nor does it or those people gain anything from such rule. It’s an exercise in sadomasochism. Nevertheless, for almost 60 years, this is exactly how Israel has been behaving, in total contradiction to common sense or reality. 

Each time Israel conquered a new territory as a result of a defensive war, it found itself ruling over a hostile population that resisted Israeli rule through guerilla warfare. As we’ve already established, death and destruction don't deter the enemy. They’re capable of sacrifice and steadfastness that we find hard to imagine. 

The former head of Hezbollah had once said: “Kill us wherever you may find us. On every front and on the door of every mosque. But know that we are Shia Muslims and we love death. For us, life starts when we become martyrs.”

I see no reason not to believe him. 

And so, each battlefield victory became a greater burden for Israel. Each time Israel was handed lemonade it found a way to make lemons out of it.

This was the mistake made in Judea and Samaria, in Gaza, and in South Lebanon. It was avoided by sheer chance in the Golan Heights. 

Instead of displacing the hostile population, the IDF mixed with it, creating an environment in which the enemy had an advantage. Arabs are not good regular soldiers, but they’re excellent ambushers and raiders. 

I'm afraid that Israel is headed towards making the same mistake again: getting bogged down in Gaza amidst a hostile population and making some kind of a deal with Lebanon that will "retreat" Hezbollah X kilometers to the north. 

Such a deal means nothing as long as there are hostile villages on the Israeli border. 

Hezbollah fighters are local Shia. They will simply remove their uniform, hide their weapons, and remain where they are. What else can they do? These are their homes. 

Such a deal cannot be enforced. Furthermore, the enemy will rightly view it as a victory and will be emboldened to launch more attacks. A single truck can carry enough weapons to launch another invasion of the magnitude of October 7. If you don’t believe me, clearly you haven’t played Tetris enough when you were little.

As long as Lebanese border communities exist, Israelis will never be safe from a sudden invasion. As long as Israel will be managing affairs in Gaza, Israeli soldiers will be open to attacks, even if it’s just a teenager with a kitchen knife. Once again, Israel will be shoehorned into the role of an occupier of people it doesn’t wish to occupy instead of defending its territory from outside threats. And we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves.

For this reason, the only route to security is the creation of buffer zones in which the enemy doesn't have communities from which to lunch attacks. These zones can't be just de-millitarized. They have to be depopulated and deforested. They have to be reduced to deserts that will remind the enemy of the cost of attacking the Jewish state. 

Only then will Arabs view the war of aggression they’ve launched against Israel on October 7 as a defeat. Only then will Israel be able to defend its borders from external threats. Only then will it become possible to talk about peace. Only then will the IDF stop being a bloated police force and become a military again.

Anything else will just set the stage for the next bloody war.

URI KURLIANCHIK

NOV 22

[pureshoney]

"i already know that i'm yours, daddy. you don't have to announce it every five minutes," says in jest, playful gleam dancing around blue hues. words are meant to be taken lightly because dylan loves when he announces that she belongs to him, the same way she enjoys stating that he's hers. it's a fleeting thought but she quickly thinks back to that first night in the back of his car and how she'd never would have thought they'd still be fucking to this day. except it's become more than fucking, dylan suspects that she's in love with the male currently standing in between her legs but is too afraid to admit it. had always been told that she was undeserving of love, and despite not hearing those words for years at this point, they're still permanently etched into femme's mind. "i don't have the kind we need, could always go buy it though," one of those small ones they use in the medical field. they could find it somewhere. "mhm … whenever you want, baby. all the fucking time," it's not like they haven't acted downright filthy in public before. nor does she put it past them to behave worse than they already have, and it certainly isn't above them for her to sink beneath the dinner table at a fancy restaurant and wrap plump lips around his thick cock. "maybe?" queries with a pout, "it's been too long since you've done that. i think i deserve it, i think we both deserve it," juts out her lower lip further, dylan would always use that sexy pouty face to try and get exactly what she wants. face brights with an unabashed grin when home's hips roll toward her, picking up the pace of her manicured hand around his length, making sure to run her thumb across the slit of his swollen head. noises of pleasure increase as the blonde tumbles closer to the edge, practically moaning into his mouth as they make a filthy mess of whipped cream between their lips. "sorry," ivories sink gently into his lesser and giving it a playful tug before forcing her legs to spread wide once more. "yes, yes," eagerly agrees without a fight, hips rotating in sloppy circles around talented digits. each time fingers plunge themselves fully inside of her, stars are shooting out of dylan's eyes. orgasm hits the blonde like a train, and she can feel that familiar euphoria finally burst in her lower abdomen, back arching in his direction. "fu-" velvet walls spasm around her fingers, kittenish moans turning to full-blown whimpers and cries.

"it sure as fuck better only be with me, you can play with yourself when i'm not here to help you out but that's it --- you're mine." they understood one another, met each other's wild expectations for sex and toeing the line between being naughty and downright filthy and shameful in public spaces. he's never been with a girl like dylan before, someone who made him yearn to be near them as much as possible. if he didn't need to work keenan was positive he'd spent all of his time buried deep inside his girl. "maybe we can work something out? you have expensive cameras here, right princess? we should put one of 'em to use, it's only fair you get to see just how pretty this pussy is when my tongue is fucking it." loves feeling those tight walls clamp around him as she orgasms, how they flutter when she's just about to tumble over the edge. even now when he's shoving his digits inside her drenched cunt keenan's hungry for more. "yeah? gonna let me use that dirty mouth whenever i want it?" is so tempted to put that to the test sometime, have his pretty barbie doll get down on her knees and suck his cock while out at dinner or going on one of their surprisingly normal yet fun dates. hues roll slightly as she plays with his length, providing just enough stimulation to give him the strength to hold off on ramming himself inside her then and there. she looks too good right now to rush it, whipped cream slicking up her glowing skin, slim legs spread wide to make sure he can fuck her as deep and intensely as possible. "hmm . . . maybe", homme pretends to think it over, already planning on getting his slutty princess to lie down at the edge of her bed so he can fuck his cock down the length of her throat. "it's been a while since i've made you cry like that, hasn't it?" wouldn't say she was being a good girl, merely giving in to the salacious need inside of her, but at this point keenan knows it's foolish to argue when he could be pleasuring her instead. hips roll toward dylan's warm hand, fingers curling inside her cunt as she reaches for that can again — there couldn't be much left inside it by now. a garbled laugh escapes as she sprays that silky cream into his mouth, their tongues clashing mere moments later. it's messy, still cold cream dribbling down his chin as his tongue fucks that sweet mouth, wetness gathering on his fingers as he drives dyl to cum for him. "don't you fuckin' dare close those legs", hisses into her mouth, free hand grasping her sticky cream sodden chin, forcing her to look at him and only him after her attempt at resting fully on the counter. "you're gonna ride it out for daddy, aren't you princess? gonna fuck his hand until you can't handle it anymore. so cum, slut. cum around daddy's fingers and tell me how good it feels to be fucked like a desperate whore on your own kitchen counters." picks up the pace with intent, thumb stroking that swollen clit as his fingers twist and separate inside of that juicy pussy.

[evedaser]

i love how everyone in the merlin fandom woke up and universally decided arthur was a footy kid

[mrspronouns]

dear malevolent podcast fans, why does no one ever talk about john and kayne and their whole dynamic . not even necessarily ship dynamic. no one talks about them NEARLY as much as we should be.

do you guys ever think about how whenever arthur and kayne have their weird gay shit going on, john is the one Witnessing it? arthur can't even see kayne's gay ass. JOHN can though. and he DOES. do you guys ever think about that. how he's forced to watch that?

do you guys ever wonder about what exactly happened with the whole deal to get john out of the dark world? why did kayne say uhh "the things you did to make this deal happen" . WHAT things? did kayne make john give him a little kissy? like did john have to massacre millions? theres so much to be explored here guys come on why aren't we talking about them more

they have such a weird freaky power dynamic and no ones even talking about it. it doesnt NEED to be like a ship thing. just in general. BUT ALSO do they even have ??? a ship name??? these are two of the main characters of the podcast guys. i know we all care about arthur sooooo much but..... but what about them.......

[gay-ppl-real]

Outfit swap!

All the neighbours who usually wear trousers in skirts, and all the neighbours who usually wear skirts in trousers (or, well, dungarees and a jumpsuit...)

I had fun drawing these. Experimented with how I was colouring and shading a little!

Here's the full page and also a bonus dark version cuz I liked how it looked lmao

Eddie would still want to be professional in a skirt so he'd wear a pencil skirt even though they suck to run in because he's got to look the part!

Wally would think a flowy skirt was fun Frank would not.